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Lamenting Energy Loss

My back, feet, and emotional heart all ache. Oh, so does yours? You must have horses too. Sounds funny as I actually type into the cybersphere. Do I have some disturbing emotional imbalance which drives me to the brink of physical illness regularly?

Sure, we have had a rough couple of weeks. You know, little things like:

- Transitions with staff

-We run a 17 day ICU for a sick pony

-New horses arriving

-bla bla bla waaaaa waaaaa waaaaa

What am I whining to you about? You have horses!

Yet, I still desire to make each worker feel important with a, “good morning", "thank you", "good job". I am desperate to let my husband and family know I love them. After all, it is easy to let my guard down with them and cut loose in my exhaustion. I also need to make sure that my fatigue doesn’t come across as being cross to horses, students and boarders. How can all this happen in my state?

Hmmm, let me think about this concept of obsessional drive past exhaustion. At press, I have a cousin-in-law, whom I adore, that is pressing into a four and a half year, let me type that again-- YEAR, daily running streak. He is moved, quite literally, by the desire to bring attention and funding to cancer. If anyone can single handedly, beat Cancer, McBeast can. Still, I am overwhelmed thinking of his sacrifices, yet encouraged by his joy in pursuit of his goal.

While mine is not so noble a cause, I am also driven to honor my creator by bringing my best in following the passion hard wired inside of me. So, I push myself one step at a time to do better. I scold myself when I feel guilt at my human frailty. Instead, I try to embrace my human condition, and marvel at how our team comes together and fills in the blanks.

So, perhaps I have mis-titled this post. I might not lament my exhaustion. Perhaps, instead, this post is a celebration. I am actually observing everyone around the farm coming together for not just the fun things, but also the trials we face, as a team! I am rejuvenated just thinking over the teamwork that drives this farm. Off to work!

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